In Which A Whimsical and Cute Idea Turns A Bit Maudlin - George Carlin's Bogus Journey

I was sorry to hear about George Carlin's passing, but 71 is a very respectable run for a guy who not only turned "Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker & tits" into poetry, but probably "nicotine valium vicodin marijuana ecstasy & alcohol... c-c-c-c-cocaine!!!" as well. This weekend, pull some bongs and watch Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey in his honour.

All of this faff is leading up to the Fuck entry in the Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television iTunes challenge, in which people with more mp3s than fat cells type rude words into iTunes and post the results. Today will be a heavily edited entry, obviously not out of concern for the kiddies, but because typing fuck into my iTunes search box yields a massive 84 mp3s for 253Mb. Some are repeats from earlier entries (GG Allin's Tough Fuckin' Shit), some are from albums (Who The Fuck Are The Arctic Monkeys?), and there's band names (The Pleasure Fuckers). I'm sure as hell not posting 83 songs, so here's a quick edit of the most interesting songs.

• I Like Fucking, Bikini Kill - I did coffee with one of the younger pubic servants the other day. I'm in a graduate program and I'm clearly one of the older entrants, and she was asking "So were you into grunge? Did you wear a flannel shirt?" No young lady, I danced the Charleston and wore spats. I always hear the last spoken bit of this song as "I believe in the radical consequences of pleasure", even though it's the exact opposite intent of the song (the italicised word is possibilities).

• You Fucked Up, Ween - this actually sounds fairly Melvins-ish. That link leads to a recording of the Enmore Theatre show in March 2008.

• I Got The I Fucked Someone Else And You Found Out About It And Dumped Me Blues, Mississippi Barry - from the A Minute or Less compilation, the title is pretty much the whole song.

• Too Sober To Fuck, New Waver - I'm not uploading this as apparently Greg is donating sales of the Neuters greatest hits (er... work with me here) compilation to Amnesty. If you're not familiar with New Waver's work, it consists of reworkings of popular songs with what might be called more realistic lyrics. Other efforts include Prozac (was: Heroin), Chadstone (was: Jackson), and Monday Morning's Alright for Working. You can buy Neuters from various sources.

• Well Fuck You Then, Dark Meat - this is a total cheat as I did not have this song when I first created the iTunes list, but I discovered it on You Ain't No Picasso via the Hype Machine, and fell in love instantly. Even though I feel like shit, this song is relentlessly bouncy and cheery.

• I Don't Give A Fuck, TISM - This was performed live on the best.off tour and is not released anywhere. Craplister fleur_ishere was generous enough to provide a decent recording. Why am I not posting "I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt"? Because it's crap, that's why.
  

• Fucking Boyfriend, The Bird & The Bee - very pretty indie song that was a hit on RRR Breakfasters last year.

• Motherfucker from Hell, The Datsuns - unfortunately I have yet to attempt to actually fuck somebody with this song on the stereo. I do use it on the elliptical machine/cross-trainer thingy a lot, the need for which would largely explain the lack of actual fucking.

• D. F. F., Blood Duster - Let's go motherfuckers!
  

Matador Intended Play sampler 2008

I'm not the kind of person who buys everything on a label - I'd like to think people are over that by now - and samplers are often, erm, samply, in the one-song-is-awesome-the-rest-are-pants sense. But I downloaded Matador's annual sampler for 2008 (warning: that's a 70Mb zip file) in a flurried frenzy of downloading in preparation for Cherryrock08, and there's quite a range of decent stuff on it. My picks - Mission of Burma's That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate, The Cave Singers' Helen, Jay Reatard's Always Wanting More and Matmos' Polychords.

There's a reason I'm a public servant and not a record reviewer, you know.

The New Pornographers - All The Things That Go To Make Heaven And Earth (live)

The Cave Singers - Helen

Free file hosting from File Den

Popular culture no longer applies to me - Art Brut, Corner Hotel, 19.12.07

I didn't know this when I went in, but support act Telecom won their slot by entering a competition on RRR. They sounded like the sort of band who win competitions - quite competent, with nothing overtly bad about them. I think you know what that means, but you decide.

Plastic Palace Alice were a tiny bit more interesting, but not my sort of thing. At first, from my position sitting on the floor in front of the Art Brut stage (note for non-Vics: The Corner Hotel has two stages) I thought "they sound a bit like Icehouse". Then I realised that what they were really after was Bowie. That's not a good sign, but they didn't suck, and perhaps you will like their stuff more than I.

Art Brut were FUCKING GREAT. At one point, it was as if I'd just woken up from a five-year coma and realised: I'M SEEING A FUCKING ROCK BAND AT A PUB AND IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!! I have been ensconced in an arts degree, and for several years refused to even pick up a copy of Beat or InPress because my inability to afford rock gigs would cause suicidal ideation. As you can see from reading my blog, I've seen bands since finishing uni, but this was the first time I felt like I was 23 again (we'll just gloss over the fact that I was too creaky to get into the enthusiastic pogoing of the rest of the audience).

I don't have the second album, just a few downloads from other blogs, but it didn't matter because it's not like any of the songs were going to suck. And even if they did suck it still would have been fun. I can't remember any of the hilarious on-stage banter, just the general wackiness and the fact that everyone in Art Brut looks like they're in completely different bands, and narrowly missing getting kicked in the head by Eddie on a foray into the audience or in the middle of pulling his pants up.

A sure indication of how awesome and fun this gig was is my big complaint about the gig. You see, after the first two songs, Eddie Argos picked up the set lists, tore them up and instructed the audience to yell out what they wanted to hear. It was great fun... except that, instead of pulling the usual stunt of not playing my favourite song, they played my favourite song - Bad Weekend - second, after opening with Formed a Band. As a result, I was surrounded by happy people shrieking the name of their particular favourite ("EMILY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!!") while I sat there feeling a bit baffled.

If your major complaint about a gig is that they play your favourite song too early, you can safely recommend it to thirty or so anonymous blog readers. Art Brut are touring Britain as of Jan 25 08, so if you're in the area I order you to see them.



Bad Weekend

mp3s yay!

I'm on an downloading spree at uni before I lose my library privileges this Sunday, and have grabbed some awesome stuff recently.

Our Monk - A Little Monk (bandwidth stolen from Sandwich Club, a great blog of Aussie music that you should totally check out)
Our Monk are from Sydney, and this is a great, Beatle-y track with jangly piano and a jaunty melody suitable for walking out in your zoot suit swinging a diamond-tipped cane. I hope they play Melbourne at some point. (Oh man, I'm checking out Our Monk's myspace and they are more Beatle-y than I imagined, but not in a shitful Oasis-y way.)

Hello Saferide - The Quiz (myspace)
Singer/songwriter Annika Norlin is Swedish, but sounds Irish. The Quiz is a great little (2 and a bit minutes) minimalist song grilling a prospective boyfriend on his bad habits, possibly revealing a few quirks of her own ("Can you always wear socks cos I'm still scared of feet"). Bounce on over to her website to check out her more poppy material.

The New Morty Show - Unskinny Bop
My taste in hair metal runs more to Guns'n'Roses and Motley Crue than (cough) Poison, Bon Jovi (I can't go on, ugh), but this nu-swing version just makes it aaaaaaaaall right.

ROOT! - Shazza and Michelle
It's frankly pretty weird to be able to see a member of TISM's face. This country outfit is TISM quiet man Humphrey B. Flaubert's new joint, with a new album in the pipeline. In keeping with Humphrey's (now "D. C. Root") "good cop" persona, Shazza and Michelle channels all the Pollyanna family values that TISM stood for, a tale of two innocent country nurses who enter the Australian Idol competition and get swept up in the shifting, changing shattering world of fame, fashion, fashion and fame. But nay, our doughty country maidens fall not for the glitz and sleaze of the entertainment world, and return happier and wiser to their country nursing home, smug in the knowledge of having deeper human values than ... ok, it's not quite that bad. It's actually quite sweet-natured, and very catchy in true TISM style. Nevertheless, I am eagerly waiting for Family First to grab a TISM track (And The Ass Said to the Angel, Wanna Play Kick To Kick?, perhaps) for their election campaign.

A Minute or Less - more tracks

I posted about A Minute of Less nearly two years ago - but, being such short songs, there's 72 tracks and I haven't gotten around to posting all the good ones. Here's some more.

The Worms - Happy Day - cheery indie pop.
Slurper - Shy Girl - ditto.
Those Acapelicans - Dragoncalf - acapella from Sime Nugent's old band.
Trabampoline - Lions and Tigers and Bears - weird sample madness.
Poohbum - Kennett - angry folk.
The Jizzbuckets - Hanging Out With Ian Curtis - ummmm...

Blog Orgy I: A quick one, while he's away

At Trades Hall last night to see Dave Thornton (see above), I picked up a blank CD with a friendly note attached:

Free CD!
15 tracks and 2 remixes for your pleasure

If you like the music please consider making a donation via paypal from my website, or at least just say hello...

www.chinchilla-music.co.uk
www.myspace.com/chrischinchilla

Chris used to be a member of Art Brut, and despite the .co.uk suffix, currently lives in Melbourne. This means that if, like myself, you lack funds to make substantial donations, you could perhaps check out a live performance. You could also spend a while entertaining yourself at the Chinchilla Music website, which contains much entertainment and food for thought.