Ms .45's mp3/bureaucratic/gaming blog.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

In Which A Whimsical and Cute Idea Turns A Bit Maudlin - George Carlin's Bogus Journey

I was sorry to hear about George Carlin's passing, but 71 is a very respectable run for a guy who not only turned "Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker & tits" into poetry, but probably "nicotine valium vicodin marijuana ecstasy & alcohol... c-c-c-c-cocaine!!!" as well. This weekend, pull some bongs and watch Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey in his honour.

All of this faff is leading up to the Fuck entry in the Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television iTunes challenge, in which people with more mp3s than fat cells type rude words into iTunes and post the results. Today will be a heavily edited entry, obviously not out of concern for the kiddies, but because typing fuck into my iTunes search box yields a massive 84 mp3s for 253Mb. Some are repeats from earlier entries (GG Allin's Tough Fuckin' Shit), some are from albums (Who The Fuck Are The Arctic Monkeys?), and there's band names (The Pleasure Fuckers). I'm sure as hell not posting 83 songs, so here's a quick edit of the most interesting songs.

  • I Like Fucking, Bikini Kill - I did coffee with one of the younger pubic servants the other day. I'm in a graduate program and I'm clearly one of the older entrants, and she was asking "So were you into grunge? Did you wear a flannel shirt?" No young lady, I danced the Charleston and wore spats. I always hear the last spoken bit of this song as "I believe in the radical consequences of pleasure", even though it's the exact opposite intent of the song (the italicised word is possibilities).
  • You Fucked Up, Ween - this actually sounds fairly Melvins-ish. That link leads to a recording of the Enmore Theatre show in March 2008.
  • Too Sober To Fuck, New Waver - I'm not uploading this as apparently Greg is donating sales of the Neuters greatest hits (er... work with me here) compilation to Amnesty. If you're not familiar with New Waver's work, it consists of reworkings of popular songs with what might be called more realistic lyrics. Other efforts include Prozac (was: Heroin), Chadstone (was: Jackson), and Monday Morning's Alright for Working. You can buy Neuters from various sources.
  • Well Fuck You Then, Dark Meat - this is a total cheat as I did not have this song when I first created the iTunes list, but I discovered it on You Ain't No Picasso via the Hype Machine, and fell in love instantly. Even though I feel like shit, this song is relentlessly bouncy and cheery.
  • I Don't Give A Fuck, TISM - This was performed live on the tour and is not released anywhere. Craplister fleur_ishere was generous enough to provide a decent recording. Why am I not posting "I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt"? Because it's crap, that's why.
  • Motherfucker from Hell, The Datsuns - unfortunately I have yet to attempt to actually fuck somebody with this song on the stereo. I do use it on the elliptical machine/cross-trainer thingy a lot, the need for which would largely explain the lack of actual fucking.

Oh fuck - Carlin dead at 71

God, I hope it wasn't anything I did.

George Carlin, Comic Who Chafed at Society and Its Constraints, Dies at 71

Friday, June 13, 2008

IQ Adventure Test

This is the first and probably only time I will ever have a highest score for spatial analysis, so I'm going to enjoy it. The link is to my scores for OK Cupid's IQ Adventure Test - a horrible amalgam of IQ test and Choose Your Own Adventure, where a decision made at the beginning of the game determines the puzzles you'll be asked to solve. If you think you're a dumb-ass, take it anyway as it offers a social analysis section where hopefully you will shit it in. (I did unbelievably badly in the social section, scoring almost as low as I did on math. I wouldn't want to take this too seriously, but given that I actually *gave up* on one of the hard maths puzzles, that means I have less social than math skills. It would explain why I've been single for #$%! years.)

Tomorrow, more sweary goodness.