Well, somebody clearly shook somebody for a certain amount of time

Sarah Taylor from The Taylor Project recently welcomed an as-yet-unnamed baby woman into the VPS, I mean the world. This is a momentous event, yet I feel a small cringe of guilt. Prior to the happy event Sarah and I had gone to see AC/DC live in Melbourne to get in touch with our inner (or not so inner) bogan. More or less as a direct result, several of the presents at her baby shower had AC/DC references on them, despite the fact that Sarah's favourite band of that era is Guns'n'Roses and strictly speaking the items should have had huge afro wigs or at least a headband to cover the baby's baldness.

Nevertheless, as much as I love Gunners, I just don't find them iconic in the way that AC/DC are - possibly because no member of AC/DC has publicly gone crazy Broadway-style the way Axl Rose has, which is not to dismiss the multiply orgasmic qualities of You Could Be Mine.

And I'd been drunkenly burbling to Sarah about what a Zen koan You (Shook Me All Night Long) is. It's about fucking. One particular incident of fucking. It describes the personal qualities of the co-respondent that resulted in said fucking being particularly memorable. It has 3 chords, possibly less. It has the lines "Working double time/on the seduction line", which is unusually clever for an AC/DC song.

And it is surprising - although perhaps it shouldn't be - how well the song works for ladies. I mean, lady singers. Some of them change the lyrics slightly ("he was the best damn lover I have ever seen"), some don't bother. Some of the artists below do faithful-ish rock versions, others, like Bing Ji Ling, reggae it the fuck up. The Tights run it through Emotional Rescue-era Stones. They are all brilliant.

"This is gonna be a fuckin' drunken mess, and we're not even drunk" - Matt Nathanson's bar-room singalong is so joyous you'll wish you were there.

Matt Nathanson - You (Shook Me All Night Long)

Do you remember "Diamond" Dave Lee Roth's version of "Just A Gigolo"? Like that.

The Lost Fingers - Thunderstruck/You (Shook Me All Night Long)

Now it starts getting weird. I used the word reggae about this one, but to be honest, I'm wondering if Tiny Tim should have covered this instead of Highway to Hell.

Bing Ji Ling - You (Shook Me All Night Long)

Not to be confused with the 70s punk rockers, The Tights from Philadelphia run through the jungle with this one. Modded to accommodate heterosexual women.

The Tights - You (Shook Me All Night Long)

I didn't like Arab Strap's version when I first heard it, but it has a certain endearing drunkenness to it, like a Scottish Shane McGowan.

Arab Strap - You (Shook Me All Night Long)

Tori Amos. You know what to expect here.

Tori Amos - You (Shook Me All Night Long)

Necrology's version is fucking brilliant - a Cookie Monster version which doesn't lose any of the fun of the original. Taken from the compilation For Those About To Rot, a tribute album with AC/DC songs by black metal, thrash, prog and hair metal bands.

Necrology - You (Shook Me All Night Long)

And, of course, no compilation of this song would be complete without Canada's finest export after Katy Beaton. Rockists claimed the universe would fold in on itself because of this performance, but Celine is having a ball and it's a lot less tragic than the version with Steven Tyler where Angus Young looks exactly like the head of our Freedom of Information unit. Find it yourself on YouTube - I'm too sad.

Taylor Project - co-workers who don't suck

Back in the late '90s, when I had no job skillz worth speaking of, I worked at an accounting firm. It was, shall we say, a subculture free zone. When I mentioned that my boyfriend was in a band (a shite band, to be sure, but a band that had original songs nevertheless) my cow-orker responded "Oh yes, my boyfriend's in a U2 covers band". All I could do was nod and smile. I don't think I've really developed my nodding and smiling abilities since then.

In the mid '00s, I worked at a certain statutory authority (won't say who, but I will say that once you work in public service departments that are answerable to a Minister, you start to appreciate statutory authorities, who are answerable to "Parliament" and therefore don't have to give blowjobs to ministers as part of their role - in fact they can deliver six of the best and demand that Parliament beg for more) and met one of the members of what is currently called The Taylor Project. At that time the band was called Because We Can, and clearly their ability at naming bands has not improved at all. Thankfully, there is an almost perfect inverse correlation between how good a band's name is and how good the band are. The Taylor Project have an album out, and a Myspace. You should look them up and see them.

Taylor Project - Ballarat On A Good Day


Last time I was in Ballarat was the last time I saw Uncle Brian alive. At that time, I weighed 90kg and had been single for a piddling 12 months - little did I know that my vow to not sleep with anyone for any reason other than clitoral (in other words, only because I'm horny - not because I'm lonely, bored, depressed or any other excuse) was going to collapse into a tragic punchline. I was 28 and I decided to go on a roadtrip, said roadtrip eventually taking me to the George 2000 Hotel, where the concierge/waitress/bouncer was legally obliged to warn me about the over-28's disco downstairs. My plans to go to bed early were disrupted by the fact that, actually, the over-28's disco downstairs was every bit as obnoxious as the concierge/waitress/bouncer had led me to believe, so I went to the movies at the lovely old cinema next door. I chose Bridget Jones' Diary.

See "tragic punchline" above.

The next morning I caught up with Uncle Brian and Auntie Maisie - strictly speaking my mother's aunt and uncle. We hit a few op shops, where I picked up a goodly selection of trashy novels, including Paula Christian's excellent Love Is Where You Find It, and went for coffee. I had a lovely time, and Brian kicked off a few years later at quite a decent old age. It's a nice way to remember him.

Taylor Project - Making Other Plans

I would just like to say to Chris whom I spoke to at the Espy on New Year's Eve - I wasn't politely giving you the flick, I gave you my Facebook details because I figured it was less invasive than giving out a phone number. I swear I'm not mad at you for squashing me the first time we met.

Taylor Project - Animals (They Dream In Black And White)

In which Sarah and Liz somehow make grinding inevitability sound sexy.

Because We Can - England

Frank Bongiorno, Of Tinnies and Sheilas, Inside Story, 02/01/09