Wagons at Northcote Social Club, Cup Day 2009

You know this fuckin' chorus... it's two words!!!

Nutrient levels like a vegetable soup dish.

Love Me Like I Love You

Wagons

The Rise and Fall of Goodtown

Buy at Readings

Buy at Amazon

Ron Asheton Tribute, Cherry Bar, 21 March 2009

The Stooges are one of those bands I like but not enough to do much about (I own one album), but when I heard Kim Salmon was playing with Mick Harvey at this belated tribute to the late Ron Asheton I thought I'd better go and see that. I never saw Bored! during the early 90s - the whole "Geelong scene" left me pretty cold, me not being interested in scenesters - so I had the always interesting experience of having pretty much no idea who anyone on stage was. It did occur to me at one point that this was probably the closest I'd ever get to seeing the Scientists, though.



Kim Salmon & Mick Harvey, Raw Power


I will confess right now that I had no idea what was happening in the first part of Bored!'s set, and found out through a review in InPress. For the first half, Fiona Lee Maynard was on vocals in a tribute to Asheton's version of Destroy All Monsters. It was great fun, but of course I didn't know any of the songs, although a stylish version of These Boots Were Made For Walking was accompanied by the snazziest blue snakeskin cowboy boots I have ever seen (not pictured). 

After Fiona's contribution the guy in the video below got on stage and proceeded to kick the shit out of us. I have no idea who this guy was (and neither do you, you can't see a face in the video), but I needed to scrub beer, glass and possibly blood out of all of my clothes the next day. 

Bored! I Wanna Be Your Dog


More images at my Flickr set. 

Tex Perkins, James Cruikshank & Charlie Owen (with Tim Rogers) - photos & video

I bought a new camera, and took a few photos at this gig. If you've read this blog before you know I occasionally whinge about how such-and-such a touring band didn't play MY favourite album track that no-one else gives a shit about. I had no such problem at this event - Can't Say No, Hard for You, even Psycho! I didn't get film because I prefer to enjoy myself at these things. :)

For your delectation, however (OK, I was just dicking around with the camera), I took a couple of videos which you may observe below.

"Any Old Time"


"Great Apes"

Bushfire epilogue

I visited my family last week, and had lunch at Eludae, a nice little place apparently recommended for coeliacs (I have a cast-iron stomach so can only go by what I hear). After a sumptuous and filling tapas spread (pic below), my parents showed me around where the fires had hit Healesville. 

I am so glad I didn't know how close the fire got when it was happening. As it was, I spent about two weeks in my safe city workplace reading the CFA website and trying not to read the papers, watching the awareness messages get upgraded and downgraded and generally feeling like Homer Simpson - 

Burns: Relax, Simpson. I just brought you in here for a friendly
hello...
Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
Burns: ...and goodbye! You're fired!
Homer: [gags] [heart speeds up]
Burns: But, wait. Perhaps I'm being too hasty. You _are_ highly
skilled...
Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
Burns: ...at goofing off!
Homer: Aaargh! [heart beats faster]
Burns: Now don't worry, Homer. You're the kind of guy I could really
dig...
Homer: Whew...[heart slows down]
Burns: ...a grave for!
Homer: Aaargh! [heart beats faster than anything]
Burns: Your indolence is inefficacious!
Homer: [stares blankly] [heart beats normally]
Burns: That means, you're terrible!
Homer: Aarrggghh! [heart goes crazy] [collapses]
(courtesy The Simpsons Archive, "Homer's Triple Bypass")

The fires got to within a brisk walk of the township of Healesville proper, with several properties that could only be described as "razed". I didn't take any pictures - it felt wrong. I was struck by the fact that the burnt areas are red, not black as I was expecting. My parents' house is right in the middle of two of the fires - patches of red surround their place and I wonder if it's our turn next year. 

Still, as the photo above illustrates, people are not letting it bother them. 

Victorian Bushfire Appeal

Look, you don't know me and I don't know you. You might have come in here from my latest (or even a really ancient) review from JayIsGames. You might have finally found that long-elusive copy of the Furry Men of the North's I Like Looking At Naked Men on the Hype Machine. Maybe you're a bored Kingdom of Loathing veteran with nothing better to do than flick idly through fellow /vet's profiles. Maybe I've left a helpful comment on your blog, or a flippant one-liner on your forum.

Nearly 20 years ago now, Henry Rollins described the LA riots as "The Shit Is On Fire Show". Well, this year The Shit Is On Fire Show is playing a sold out season in my state.

New York Times - Death Toll in Australian Fires Climbs to 131
Guardian - Australia bushfires death toll may reach 200
Al Jazeera - Australia PM: Fires are mass murder
Le Monde - L'Australie accablée par des incendies meurtriers

You get the idea. I and my loved ones are fine, but as I read the internets I keep calling home (in the Yarra Valley) every hour on the hour and reminding my parents about how they've always dreamed of buying a yacht and living on St Kilda pier. NOW WOULD BE A REALLY GOOD TIME, GUYS.

Not everyone has been so fortunate, and the death toll is so massive that everyone knows someone who's lost everything - widowed, orphaned and/or holed up in a burlap sack in one of the Red Cross camps across the state. I'm not gonna pull your dick any more - you know what I'm building up to here.

Australian Red Cross Bushfire Appeal 2009
Salvation Army Victorian Bushfire Appeal (for Australians - outside Australia, go here)
Bendigo Bank Bushfire Appeal
Do a little shopping (Coles donation day, Friday 13th February)

If you're one of these people who've gone sane and don't have a credit card, the National Australia Bank has an account you can transfer funds into.

National Australia Bank
NAB account: BSB 082001 Account #: 860046797

Let's face it, if you're reading this blog you were only going to go and blow $20 on the latest shitty time-management clone or Pitchfork-endorsed whiners, so go buy yourself some good karma instead.

EDIT: Commenter Alex from the British Red Cross notes that "Visitors from the UK can also donate through the British Red Cross at www.redcross.org.uk/bushfires."

OTHER EDIT: If you're able to volunteer your time and skills, call 1300 366 356 or register at http://www.govolunteer.com.au/volunteer/events.htm. People with medical skills are certainly welcome to volunteer, but people are also sought to distribute donated goods at the relief centres, provide catering and other support to volunteer firefighters, and clean up after the fires have been doused. Know that volunteer organisations may take a while to get back to you - we have been inundated with potential volunteers, and need to match offers of help with areas of need.

ANOTHER EDIT: The Victorian RSPCA has some requests. They have enough people to billet pets, but they currently need blankets, temporary fencing and those 'green' bags that supermarkets sell.

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One Hundred Pushups

I don't really like sport. In fact, I'm not much into any physical activity that doesn't involve lifting weights 12 ounces at a time, or bench-pressing some late-20s hottie with my inner thighs. I don't like sports people, seeing them as much more like Wayne Carey than John Landy. Thankfully, I've been surrounded by people who are genuinely interested in fitness and health, rather than in being into sport because they're utter sheep, which has been invaluable in my motivation and learning.

So motivating myself to get regular exercise has been quite challenging, and much more related to 'push' factors (not wanting to be fat anymore, not wanting to get sick every six weeks, not wanting to be depressed... see how they're all negative?) than 'pull' factors (such as being healthy, which takes quite a while, or even being better looking, which takes frickin' ages). Like just about everyone who's lost a lot of weight, my progress is starting to level off - I'm still losing weight, but not at the comparatively rapid pace I enjoyed when I started. I'm getting bored with my workouts, bored with the music I play (need more Hype Machine!) and am generally treading water.

To break it up, I'm trying to introduce some external, quantitative motivations - I'd like to set objective benchmarks for myself (I'm probably never going to think I look any good, so I'm better off setting a totally objective goal like "I can run 4km in less than 30 minutes"). One is to participate in a fun run where I actually run - in previous efforts I've walked the distance and not bothered with timing. And the other day I rather spontaneously decided to do the One Hundred Pushups challenge. The fact that they conveniently have a pushups logger appeals to my not-so-inner nerd (if you'd like to check my progress, you can search for user baker1). The best thing about it is that it shows a clear numerical progress, which is simple and easy to observe - not necessarily the case with weight loss, where you may confront the I'm-smaller-but-haven't-lost-weight-WTF phenomenon. Given that I'm starting at the lowest possible level - the exhaustion test led to, wait for it, THREE (3) whole pushups ('man' style, from the toes, and done on the floor rather than from the side of my coffee table where I usually do it) - the only way is up, baby! Even if I don't make it to one hundred in six weeks (in fact, I think that's pretty unlikely), to try and fail is still beneficial. Wish me luck frickin' hard work.

Taylor Project - co-workers who don't suck

Back in the late '90s, when I had no job skillz worth speaking of, I worked at an accounting firm. It was, shall we say, a subculture free zone. When I mentioned that my boyfriend was in a band (a shite band, to be sure, but a band that had original songs nevertheless) my cow-orker responded "Oh yes, my boyfriend's in a U2 covers band". All I could do was nod and smile. I don't think I've really developed my nodding and smiling abilities since then.

In the mid '00s, I worked at a certain statutory authority (won't say who, but I will say that once you work in public service departments that are answerable to a Minister, you start to appreciate statutory authorities, who are answerable to "Parliament" and therefore don't have to give blowjobs to ministers as part of their role - in fact they can deliver six of the best and demand that Parliament beg for more) and met one of the members of what is currently called The Taylor Project. At that time the band was called Because We Can, and clearly their ability at naming bands has not improved at all. Thankfully, there is an almost perfect inverse correlation between how good a band's name is and how good the band are. The Taylor Project have an album out, and a Myspace. You should look them up and see them.

Taylor Project - Ballarat On A Good Day


Last time I was in Ballarat was the last time I saw Uncle Brian alive. At that time, I weighed 90kg and had been single for a piddling 12 months - little did I know that my vow to not sleep with anyone for any reason other than clitoral (in other words, only because I'm horny - not because I'm lonely, bored, depressed or any other excuse) was going to collapse into a tragic punchline. I was 28 and I decided to go on a roadtrip, said roadtrip eventually taking me to the George 2000 Hotel, where the concierge/waitress/bouncer was legally obliged to warn me about the over-28's disco downstairs. My plans to go to bed early were disrupted by the fact that, actually, the over-28's disco downstairs was every bit as obnoxious as the concierge/waitress/bouncer had led me to believe, so I went to the movies at the lovely old cinema next door. I chose Bridget Jones' Diary.

See "tragic punchline" above.

The next morning I caught up with Uncle Brian and Auntie Maisie - strictly speaking my mother's aunt and uncle. We hit a few op shops, where I picked up a goodly selection of trashy novels, including Paula Christian's excellent Love Is Where You Find It, and went for coffee. I had a lovely time, and Brian kicked off a few years later at quite a decent old age. It's a nice way to remember him.

Taylor Project - Making Other Plans

I would just like to say to Chris whom I spoke to at the Espy on New Year's Eve - I wasn't politely giving you the flick, I gave you my Facebook details because I figured it was less invasive than giving out a phone number. I swear I'm not mad at you for squashing me the first time we met.

Taylor Project - Animals (They Dream In Black And White)

In which Sarah and Liz somehow make grinding inevitability sound sexy.

Because We Can - England

Frank Bongiorno, Of Tinnies and Sheilas, Inside Story, 02/01/09

I have lost 13 kg in 9 months

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Oh... My... God... Chinese Democracy

That's not the good kind of Oh My God.

Are any of you old enough to remember when Guns'n'Fuckin'Roses were the Greatest Band On Earth™?

What the fuck happened to the band that gave us hilariously overblown rock bombast like Coma and November Rain? It's still overblown and bombastic... but it's not hilarious.

(It's too much to dare hope for the band that gave us Night Train, It's So Easy, or even Patience.)

www.myspace.com/gunsnroses... if you dare.

Reels/Models, Prince of Wales, 25 September 08

It's been a while since I've been the youngest person at a rock show, so this gig was rather special for me. Paying $9 for an Asahi was a sure sign that I'm a real old person now - fortunately I was prevented from any further financial stupidity by the massing hordes of Reels fans refusing to let me get back to the bar.

I was never into the Reels when they were big - I was too young (I had my ninth birthday the year Shout & Deliver was released) and later, too much of a rockist. I'm still not in love with a lot of their music, finding it a bit dirgey, although I like their Bacharach covers. But they were on the bill and I'd paid for them, so there you go. Dave Mason didn't do much for my expectations by turning up on stage looking like your friendly neighbourhood kiddy-fiddler, and his voice took a couple of songs to warm up. The fans, however, did not - I was being regaled with tales of how awesome they were at this or that festival and how excellent this show was going to be well before the band got anywhere near the stage. Between the adoring audience and the band being MUCH better live than on record, I had an unexpectedly good time, bopping away to comparatively unfamiliar songs like 'After the News' and 'Prefab Heart' as if they were old favourites. It's a pity they couldn't have had an encore - the crowd wanted it and the band deserved it. Also, I spent a lot of time yelling "Play some Chisels!" and they didn't do it!

Reels do Chisels:


Models were... interesting. A bit of backstory - last time I saw the Models it was a free show at the Espy featuring the classic lineup, before James Freud joined. Unfortunately, I had my period and despite being one of the best shows I've ever seen, all I could think of was the fact that I had a molten rock in my lower abdomen. So I was keen to see them in a slightly better state of repair, and only slightly disconcerted by the fact that James Freud was featured in this lineup. (Note for overseas readers - James Freud is alternately blamed/praised for taking the Models in the direction of commercial career success, having written the mega-hit Out of Mind, Out of Sight. I tend towards blame, myself.)

I didn't know who most of the band were, and I suspect the fans behind me may have been less than impressed. James Freud is looking surprisingly good these days, having presumably gone on the wagon for real this time. However, Father forgive me for I have sinned, I spent rather a lot of time drooling at his 20 year old son Jackson (rhythm guitar). It's a fine line between cougar and pedophile and I think I may have crossed it.

I own a copy of Alphabravocharliedeltaechofoxtrotgolf, and of course I know the big radio hits, but I don't know any other songs. Most of the setlist was from Cut Lunch, Pleasure of Your Company, or Out of Mind Out of Sight, and included On, Two Cabs to the Toucan, Cut Lunch, Facing the North Pole in August, and a bunch of other stuff I didn't know. Still, it was an OK set, even when they let Freud's other son Harrison come on and sing one of his own band's songs (inoffensive commercial heavy rock), and I was rather getting the shits with the woman behind me who kept yelling "Local and/or General, Sean!" as if Sean Kelly is her personal valet. And I really enjoyed hearing "Modern Girl" live.

It wasn't what I hoped for, but I didn't feel ripped off.


James Freud and the Teenage Radio Stars, Modern Girl



Two Cabs for the Toucan, Models


On, Models



Jackson Freud's band Sonic Dogma on triplej unearthed - don't bother with Rock City, listen to Dog Day Afternoon.

EDIT: Commenter Dick Bukakke/newtownmack has posted videos of the Sydney show over at YouTube, as well as ROOT!, Ween and DEVO!

New AC/DC! And it's not totally shit!!!

AC/DC's Myspace page features the new single Rock 'n Roll Train. Is it up to the standard of Back in Black? Don't be an idiot. Is it better than Blow Up Your Video? Most assuredly. Is it at least as classic as Thunderstruck? Yeah, I'd say so.

Man, I am so excited - I've never seen AC/DC live, so I feel like I'm only an associate bogan. I've seen the Angels, Rose Tattoo and *sob* Guns'n'Roses, Chisels broke up when I was a kid, but AC/DC was the band that got me from 11 to 19 without committing suicide or homicide. This time around I'm gonna rustle up all my womens (Denise has seen TISM, now she needs her first stadium experience) and drag us all down to the National AC/DC Centre. Eeeeeeeeeeeep!!!

Quickies

I came down with the flu today, much to my disgust, but whilst making it worse by staring at a CRT I tripped over some things.

1) Interview on JJJ with DC Root

2) Discussion of The Greatest Power Pop Songs Ever. What, no Blondie?

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Picky

You have no problem attracting guys - and even dating a little It's just around second or third date time where you start to see faults If a guy isn't near perfect, you're not into him. It's good to have standards - but yours rule almost everyone out.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

George Carlin's 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television, for the last fucking time

This is entry number 5, and final, in my Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television challenge. The idea is/was, type each of George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television - shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfuckers and tits - into the search box of iTunes and see what comes up. This is the final entry because a) my inner adolescent boy has had a wank, rolled over and gone to sleep and b) I don't actually have a lot of songs with the words cocksucker, motherfucker or tits. As you can hear, however, I think these are some pretty good songs. Starting with...


COCKSUCKER

The Beasts of Bourbon - Cocksucker Blues
I saw this performed at the Big Day Out in... 1992, I think. (Can we not discuss how old this makes me? Ta.) Those of you who are not feral Rolling Stones fans need to know that Cocksucker Blues was written by Mick Jagger as a contractual obligation to Decca Records. (One of these days, I must do a blog post about contractual obligation music... is anyone not aware of the delights of Van Morrison's efforts in this area?) The Beasts version is totally convincing.

• Cocksucker Blues, the movie - BitTorrent

MOTHERFUCKER

Supersuckers - The Fight Song (album: Motherfuckers Be Trippin')
Supersuckers - Run Like A Motherfucker

I saw the Supersuckers twice this year - once at the East Brunswick Club and once at CherryRock008 at what used to be the Metro and is now called the Palace, just to make sure old fucks like me get totally confused with the Palace in St. Kilda that burnt down in a self-inflicted wound a while ago. It was fun, but I was kind of disappointed - Supersuckers have been one of my favourite bands (if not the favourite band) for the last ten years, and to experience anything other than full-body orgasms at their show was bound to be bitter. But that's live music sod's law for you - I find the most memorable, awesome shows are often by bands I couldn't give a stuff about, like the Dictators at the Corner Hotel where I'd never heard their songs and they played "punk classic hits" and Handsome Dick Manitoba worked the crowd like Dennis Walter himself.
Eddie Spaghetti is one of my favourite songwriters ever, as I'll explain when I get around to doing my "These people are incredible songwriters and I am a lowly pubic servant with the natural rhythm of a taxidermied sloth, OH GOD WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME YOU BASTARD" post. In the case of The Fight Song, it's because of the line... actually no, they're all awesome and they don't work out of context. You'll have to wait, and that could take a while. Stupid day job (that's bullshit, I post more now than I did when I was a student).

G.G. Allin - Gypsy Motherfucker
Q. Why is a progressive, feminist, law-abiding person like yourself promoting the lawless, anti-social, frankly fucked up and barely listenable G.G. Allin?
A. Because G.G. wrote fucking great pop tunes, and besides, the cunt's dead.


TITS

Feist - Lovertits
I do not listen to Yoof Radio nor do I watch television, so the only knowledge I have of Feist is that I have a copy of Mushaboom which I like very much, and apparently she was in an iPod ad. I do have a fair bit of Peaches for reasons unknown - it's not a feminist thing, or maybe it is as I like the idea of Peaches much more than I actually like Peaches. I like this version of Lovertits better than the original. Unfortunately that link is just to a sample at Last.fm, but I'm sure someone will have it. No? Shit, sorry.

The Pleasure Fuckers - That Magic Kiss (album: Ripped to the Tits)
The Pleasure Fuckers were from Spain, and made some fun guitar tunes that won't hurt your brain. (See why I'm a public servant?) This song has the chorus "bam-bam-bam-bam, bam-bam-bam-bam", so you can tell they're deeply intellectual.


Well, that's it. It's been fun and I think if you like punk rock and have a blog you should give this a go. Amazingly, you can do such an experiment with non-swear words! But it's surprisingly hard... go on, try.

Spreading the, er, love

I took the "hindu goddess" personality quiz on gURL.com
		i am... Lakshmi Like Lakshmi, you are naturally blessed. You might not have a bunch of money, but what you do have are multiples of wealth in other ways, perhaps made up by great friends or a supportive family. Chances are you also like to spread your fortune... Read more... Which Devi are you?

Lady Love Your Brain - George Carlin's big 7 continued

As a feminist I've spent most of my life trying to emphasise that I have other features than a cunt (and, OK, tits), so the whole Cunt Love thing leaves me pretty cold. I sit on it, I wee through it, every once in a while I get to stuff a kransky into it. My brain, however, enables me to do all sorts of fun shit like writing Investment Logic Maps and being an appalling indie snob who spends her life trawling the internets for increasingly obscure and semi-listenable music by angry loners with skin diseases.

I'm really proud of today's compilation - there's some incredible stuff here, and I mean that in the literal sense of "unbelievable".

Northern Bushmen - God's Cunt - I have to confess I didn't actually have a lot of songs featuring the word Cunt - this list features pretty much all of them. So I turned to my eternal saviour the Hype Machine, and this piece of shrieking math-rock with possibly the best song name ever jumped into my lap. Do you want to marry Steve Albini? Download this.
Read more about Northern Bushmen at the Built on a Weak Spot blog.

The Cunt - Me & A Great Big Leather Man - My first boyfriend used to rent two small rooms in a shop on Sydney Rd in Brunswick in the early 90s. One was for him, the other for his vinyl collection. I wasn't allowed to touch the vinyl. In the case of Leather Donut, the Black Eye Records compilation this song appears on, I wasn't allowed to even look at it. "You'll leave eye-tracks!!!" Leather Donut now sells for around a hundred bucks on eBay if you can find it at all, so he may have had a point. Rooms on Sydney Road now rent for more than he or I can afford, and we have jobs these days.
Cousin Creep's remarkable essay/book Pissant! chronicles the alternative music Scene of the 1980s, including the Leather Donut and Waste Sausage comps. It's a bit controversial.

Jarvis Cocker - Cunts Are Still Running The World - Is this song more awesome than Common People? It's kind of neck and neck for me - I'm waiting for Leonard Nimoy to cover this one.

Nasenbluten - Cuntface - Nasenbluten was a band composed of the sort of fucksticks who think it's anything other than simple button-pushing to pick a "controversial" issue ("controversial" to the sort of people who watch Barcelona Tonight without having a headful of codeine) and write something "controversial" about it. Cuntface is hardcore techno, a genre which can collectively suck my metaphysical cock, so I'm posting Cheap Whine instead - it's at least a bit funny.

TISM - I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt - I wanted to post the video to this,
but can't find it anywhere. Here's the lyrics to an earlier version of the song. This is not my favourite TISM song by a long shot, but it's a cold, cloudy, shitty day today, and when I played through this list on iTunes, it cheered me up no end.

[Brief recap for those of you who came here on a search for TISM or George Carlin - I'm posting a series of mp3s collected by typing Carlin's "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" one by one into iTunes. This is entry #4, Cunt.]


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Ideological purity is no substitute for a can of Ajax and some elbow grease.

It's a sitting duck, but this Armagideon Time post on Objectivism made me giggle.

No shit

In Which A Whimsical and Cute Idea Turns A Bit Maudlin - George Carlin's Bogus Journey

I was sorry to hear about George Carlin's passing, but 71 is a very respectable run for a guy who not only turned "Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker & tits" into poetry, but probably "nicotine valium vicodin marijuana ecstasy & alcohol... c-c-c-c-cocaine!!!" as well. This weekend, pull some bongs and watch Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey in his honour.

All of this faff is leading up to the Fuck entry in the Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television iTunes challenge, in which people with more mp3s than fat cells type rude words into iTunes and post the results. Today will be a heavily edited entry, obviously not out of concern for the kiddies, but because typing fuck into my iTunes search box yields a massive 84 mp3s for 253Mb. Some are repeats from earlier entries (GG Allin's Tough Fuckin' Shit), some are from albums (Who The Fuck Are The Arctic Monkeys?), and there's band names (The Pleasure Fuckers). I'm sure as hell not posting 83 songs, so here's a quick edit of the most interesting songs.

• I Like Fucking, Bikini Kill - I did coffee with one of the younger pubic servants the other day. I'm in a graduate program and I'm clearly one of the older entrants, and she was asking "So were you into grunge? Did you wear a flannel shirt?" No young lady, I danced the Charleston and wore spats. I always hear the last spoken bit of this song as "I believe in the radical consequences of pleasure", even though it's the exact opposite intent of the song (the italicised word is possibilities).

• You Fucked Up, Ween - this actually sounds fairly Melvins-ish. That link leads to a recording of the Enmore Theatre show in March 2008.

• I Got The I Fucked Someone Else And You Found Out About It And Dumped Me Blues, Mississippi Barry - from the A Minute or Less compilation, the title is pretty much the whole song.

• Too Sober To Fuck, New Waver - I'm not uploading this as apparently Greg is donating sales of the Neuters greatest hits (er... work with me here) compilation to Amnesty. If you're not familiar with New Waver's work, it consists of reworkings of popular songs with what might be called more realistic lyrics. Other efforts include Prozac (was: Heroin), Chadstone (was: Jackson), and Monday Morning's Alright for Working. You can buy Neuters from various sources.

• Well Fuck You Then, Dark Meat - this is a total cheat as I did not have this song when I first created the iTunes list, but I discovered it on You Ain't No Picasso via the Hype Machine, and fell in love instantly. Even though I feel like shit, this song is relentlessly bouncy and cheery.

• I Don't Give A Fuck, TISM - This was performed live on the best.off tour and is not released anywhere. Craplister fleur_ishere was generous enough to provide a decent recording. Why am I not posting "I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt"? Because it's crap, that's why.
  

• Fucking Boyfriend, The Bird & The Bee - very pretty indie song that was a hit on RRR Breakfasters last year.

• Motherfucker from Hell, The Datsuns - unfortunately I have yet to attempt to actually fuck somebody with this song on the stereo. I do use it on the elliptical machine/cross-trainer thingy a lot, the need for which would largely explain the lack of actual fucking.

• D. F. F., Blood Duster - Let's go motherfuckers!
  

Oh fuck - Carlin dead at 71

God, I hope it wasn't anything I did.

George Carlin, Comic Who Chafed at Society and Its Constraints, Dies at 71

IQ Adventure Test

http://www.okcupid.com/iq-adventure-test?score=1263504531

This is the first and probably only time I will ever have a highest score for spatial analysis, so I'm going to enjoy it. The link is to my scores for OK Cupid's IQ Adventure Test - a horrible amalgam of IQ test and Choose Your Own Adventure, where a decision made at the beginning of the game determines the puzzles you'll be asked to solve. If you think you're a dumb-ass, take it anyway as it offers a social analysis section where hopefully you will shit it in. (I did unbelievably badly in the social section, scoring almost as low as I did on math. I wouldn't want to take this too seriously, but given that I actually *gave up* on one of the hard maths puzzles, that means I have less social than math skills. It would explain why I've been single for #$%! years.)

Tomorrow, more sweary goodness.