George Carlin's 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television, for the last fucking time

This is entry number 5, and final, in my Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television challenge. The idea is/was, type each of George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television - shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfuckers and tits - into the search box of iTunes and see what comes up. This is the final entry because a) my inner adolescent boy has had a wank, rolled over and gone to sleep and b) I don't actually have a lot of songs with the words cocksucker, motherfucker or tits. As you can hear, however, I think these are some pretty good songs. Starting with...


COCKSUCKER

The Beasts of Bourbon - Cocksucker Blues
I saw this performed at the Big Day Out in... 1992, I think. (Can we not discuss how old this makes me? Ta.) Those of you who are not feral Rolling Stones fans need to know that Cocksucker Blues was written by Mick Jagger as a contractual obligation to Decca Records. (One of these days, I must do a blog post about contractual obligation music... is anyone not aware of the delights of Van Morrison's efforts in this area?) The Beasts version is totally convincing.

• Cocksucker Blues, the movie - BitTorrent

MOTHERFUCKER

Supersuckers - The Fight Song (album: Motherfuckers Be Trippin')
Supersuckers - Run Like A Motherfucker

I saw the Supersuckers twice this year - once at the East Brunswick Club and once at CherryRock008 at what used to be the Metro and is now called the Palace, just to make sure old fucks like me get totally confused with the Palace in St. Kilda that burnt down in a self-inflicted wound a while ago. It was fun, but I was kind of disappointed - Supersuckers have been one of my favourite bands (if not the favourite band) for the last ten years, and to experience anything other than full-body orgasms at their show was bound to be bitter. But that's live music sod's law for you - I find the most memorable, awesome shows are often by bands I couldn't give a stuff about, like the Dictators at the Corner Hotel where I'd never heard their songs and they played "punk classic hits" and Handsome Dick Manitoba worked the crowd like Dennis Walter himself.
Eddie Spaghetti is one of my favourite songwriters ever, as I'll explain when I get around to doing my "These people are incredible songwriters and I am a lowly pubic servant with the natural rhythm of a taxidermied sloth, OH GOD WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME YOU BASTARD" post. In the case of The Fight Song, it's because of the line... actually no, they're all awesome and they don't work out of context. You'll have to wait, and that could take a while. Stupid day job (that's bullshit, I post more now than I did when I was a student).

G.G. Allin - Gypsy Motherfucker
Q. Why is a progressive, feminist, law-abiding person like yourself promoting the lawless, anti-social, frankly fucked up and barely listenable G.G. Allin?
A. Because G.G. wrote fucking great pop tunes, and besides, the cunt's dead.


TITS

Feist - Lovertits
I do not listen to Yoof Radio nor do I watch television, so the only knowledge I have of Feist is that I have a copy of Mushaboom which I like very much, and apparently she was in an iPod ad. I do have a fair bit of Peaches for reasons unknown - it's not a feminist thing, or maybe it is as I like the idea of Peaches much more than I actually like Peaches. I like this version of Lovertits better than the original. Unfortunately that link is just to a sample at Last.fm, but I'm sure someone will have it. No? Shit, sorry.

The Pleasure Fuckers - That Magic Kiss (album: Ripped to the Tits)
The Pleasure Fuckers were from Spain, and made some fun guitar tunes that won't hurt your brain. (See why I'm a public servant?) This song has the chorus "bam-bam-bam-bam, bam-bam-bam-bam", so you can tell they're deeply intellectual.


Well, that's it. It's been fun and I think if you like punk rock and have a blog you should give this a go. Amazingly, you can do such an experiment with non-swear words! But it's surprisingly hard... go on, try.